When I move in next year, I would appreciate it if my oven looked like this.

Well, actually, I would appreciate it if my oven looked like a full-size gas oven with a gas cooktop, but I realize that is not up to you.

Cleaning it took about an hour, and I worked up quite a sweat. These dinky European ovens are not cleaning-friendly.The side racks and burner don’t come out like in an American oven. But I did it because it was MY gunk in there.

See, this is how it should work: I clean up my gunk, you clean up your gunk. Then everyone only has to clean up one person’s gunk. Cool!

Don’t know how to clean an oven? I’m not really sure how an adult person doesn’t know this, but you can always look up a video.

Don’t have time? Hire somebody. Show them a video if they don’t know how. Or make time. Because this is really not optional, people!

Counting on GSO to do it? Well, don’t. In some countries, they will send over some guys who have never owned an oven, much less cleaned one. In others, they will be, well, guys, and not notice a dirty oven (sorry guys!) Or they will do as little as possible because they going to get paid regardless.

Also, could you clean up all your pet’s hair, and give the toilets a good scrubbing? Because, you know, after six tours, I’m kind of tired of having to clean up other people’s gunk when I move into a place.

Not every time–thankfully, our most recent apartment was quite clean. But it was one of the few. The one before that–in tidy Vienna–was pretty gross. The cleaners were lazy, and didn’t move furniture when they cleaned the floors. So, there was spilled Coke and dog hair under everything. And in the sofas–they didn’t even lift the cushions when they vacuumed. And the toilets were so dirty they actually smelled, which is something I don’t especially want to think about right now.

Yes, the GSO cleaners were useless. But who left all that dog hair, Coke, and other, er, stuff, in the apartment? The previous occupants!

So, Foreign Service people, clean your ovens. And everything else in your house or apartment before you leave, so the next tired, jet-lagged, bedraggled FS family doesn’t have to to deal with your gunk when they arrive.

Thank you!